Beautiful Destruction

There is something beuatiful about an atomic blast. Morality aside (obviously the concept of destroying something is in and of itself not a pretty thing), the result, the cloud that emerges, has an organic beauty to it that compares to the most powerful phenomona in nature.

Wolford

Anyone who knows me knows I like women in hosiery. I'm not to "up" on what the best brands are but one brand that I am aware of is Wolford. I came across a video of their latest collection. Enjoy.

Hotel Sex

There is something to be said for having sexual relations in a neutral arena. There's the obvious "We don't have to clean up" reason for enjoying hotel sex, but there is also the more subtle role that such a venue plays: It becomes an equalizer. Neither party is on their home turf. Well, maybe if they use that same hotel a lot... But even then, there is nothing other than the people themselves that one can claim as their own.
I've mentioned before that to some degree playing with someone who lives in a luxury high-rise apartment is a turn on for me, simply because it implies that this person is on some sort of higher level than me. This equates to roles that I and the person I'm playing with take on, even if they're not expressed by either of us in any other way than how we interact with each other. Katt was a very good example of this. I enjoyed telling her doorman I was there to see her and noticing a somewhat knowing look on his face. The elevator ride up to her floor was sometimes more than I could take (I once started stripping down in the elevator) as I could feel myself somehow achieving her status if only in metaphor. Knocking and waiting outside her door had it's own thrill, since on occasion, one of her neighbors would walk past. I'd wonder if they knew.
But a hotel is different. I've only met other guys in a hotel setting (either I'm travelling or they are) so to some degree I can't say that this applies to a woman as well. The thing that a hotel brings to it is that neutrality, the sense that even if one is more of a top or bottom, the room doesn't really belong to either. It's a playground that we've both been invited to. The experiences I've had in hotels seem very much like two people, unaware of the world outside the door, doing what feels pleasureable regardless of consequence. I don't mean this in the sense that we didn't use protection or practiced unsafe sex (on occasion we didn't, read below). I mean it more as a way to describe the vibe we had while enjoying each other rather than the details.
So far my favorite experience in a hotel was with Lucas. Lucas was the first guy I would meet on a (somewhat) regular basis. I guess you could say he was my first fuckbuddy. He lived fairly close to me, during warmer weather I would walk over to his apartment as it was about a 5 minute walk. He was my ideal playmate: Smooth, boyish (despite being older than me), witty, nicely hung and very talented (read: He knew what he was doing). to this day we still chat online and not only swap experiences, but also musical discoveries and the occasional link to an automotive story that catches our attention. When we played he was mostly the bottom, but on occasion we switched. He moved away but would occasionally visit and it was during one of these visits that we both switched and played in a hotel.
Lucas worked for a Chicago-based company, but had moved to one of their bases of operations in an other state. Once in a while he would be sent back to Chicago on business and he'd wind up staying at a hotel near Michigan Avenue. He'd give me a heads up (sometimes he would just let me know once he was here) that he was paying a visit and we would agree to meet up whenever we were both free. Since I worked downtown at the time I could easily pay him a visit at lunch (insert sexual meal joke here) or right afterwards. Of the handful of times we met at a hotel only once did I spend the night (I was supposed to stay another night, but a late night call from a freelance client nixed that idea). It wasn't the first time Lucas and I spent an entire together, as a matter of fact the first time we met was at his place and I stayed the night.
By the time he had moved from Chicago we had met enough times that we knew each other pretty well in terms of what turned us on. So, whenever I paid him a visit at a hotel, he'd usually be waiting... naked. Then I'd disrobe and he'd start playing with me, usually orally. Back then I was not as "hands on" as I am now. I didn't really have much experience with guys and wasn't really sure what I was "capable" of. Throughout this period in my explorations, Lucas was patient and offered a lot of... feedback.
This particular night after letting me into the room, he didn't even let me take my clothes off before he was kneeling before me, undoing my jeans and going down on me. To this day he's been the best at oral. Even other uncut guys haven't matched his attention to detail, his ability to let me know how much he enjoys my penis.
After I came I got naked and we got into bed. We talked, catching up on things: Music, movies, experiences and the like. Before meeting up I had mentioned my curiousity to try being a bottom and so he suggested we give it a try.
We played with each other to get ready, but I still remained nervous. Lucas wasn't hung like a horse, but his cock was substantial. Part of what I loved about him is his smooth, thin, boyish frame that had, hanging from between his legs a long, thick penis. I'vv mentioned contrasts before and this is one that never fails to turn me on. Men who look like boys who also happen to be equipped like men. Lucas is such a man. His endowment had me nervous since I had no idea how much I could handle.
Once we were both aroused I layed on my back while he positioned himself, kneeling between my legs. He slipped a condom on and spread lube on my anticipating hole. He tried to slide in. He made his way in about a half inch and I had to tell him to stop. We repeated this for about twenty minutes, with more of him sliding in each time until he was about halfway in. He held it there for a bit, but my body protested. After that we gave up as I was feeling very uncomfortable and not really turned on. We stroked each other to completion then decided to call it a night.
After falling asleep things were quiet until sometime just before dawn when I awoke to find Lucas sucking on me. This was an immediate turn-on as I had never experienced that before. Once he saw I was ready, he climbed on top of me and let me slide into him. No condom, no lube. As nature intended. At this stage in my life I wasn't into kissing another man. Looking back, I should have done it then. I was propped up by the pillow behind my back, while he was straddling my waist, sliding up and down on me, his swollen member tapping my stomach. His face was near mine and yet, my mouth avoided his. During our encounters he would sometimes kiss or lick my nipples or neck, but I had made it clear to him I didn't kiss unless I was emotionally involved with someone. As they say, hindsight is 20/20.
As we both approached climax it occured to me that he was taking me raw. In my "just woke up" stupor it hadn't registered that we weren't using a condom. This both turned me on immensely and scared me as I had sworn to myself that I would always play safe. But as the little light there was outside made its way in through the thin slit between the hotel curtains I could see his smooth body enjoying mine and recalled how we had always been honest and upfront about things. I trusted him... and I assumed he trusted me as well. He know how little I played with others and how cautious (almost to the point of hysteria) I was. As all this ran through my mind I could feel myself about to lose myself in him and with a moan I did.
He finished soon after and we fell back asleep again. Naked in the large hotel room that belonged to neither of us. Our only possessions were the clothes that were crumpled on the floor, the only vestiges of our lives outside the hotel. If there ever was a moment I could put in a bottle it would be that time from when he woke me up to when we fell back asleep: The sheer, purity of what we did, the ambient lighting, the subdued sounds being muffled by the thick hotel walls as we expressed the pleasure we felt. I say pure because there was nothing unnatural about what we did. There was no latex separating each other's skin, no clothes. Just to people, naked as the day they were born, enjoying each other's bodies, without fear, without prejudices... As nature intended.

Webcam Revolution

In the past few months I've been seeing an increase in video clips featuring what appear to be common folk engaging in very revealing behaviour online. Most of the clips seem to be made by younger women who are either seeking exposure (no pun... oh, okay, pun intended) or they were meant to be seen by a significant other who then posted it on the web. In any case, it seems that more and more people are looking to the internet as a away to be seen... Maybe even be watched in a voyeuristic way.

Olympics

These kinds of games I'd pay to watch.

Flexibility

There is something erotic about someone who is very flexible or agile. There is the common fantasy about being with a gymnast or a dancer. However there is also something scary about someone who is flexible to the point of being a contortionist. The video below is a very extreme example of this. I find it incredibly erotic (I'm not sure how old she is, so I'm just basing this reaction on her ability to control her body) and yet at the same time, mildly disturbing.

Oh, It's A Weather Report!

Jackie Gerrido hands down wins the Best Looking Weather Person award.




More of Jackie, for your viewing pleasure:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3041316313429699590&pl=true
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8630433279209767348&q=guerrido
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1334610777062867885&q=guerrido
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=734096368235984486&q=guerrido
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2908404519636901736&q=guerrido

Family Feud

Sex will pop up anywhere.

Multiplicity

You've seen me write about my experiences,... Well, rather pleasureable experiences with James before, but some information has come to light that may warrant a cease and desist of such experiences. Now, this is not going to turn into a bitch session, rather I'm going to present some observations I've made and you can make up your own mind as far as moral implications, if any, are concerned.
While James and I have met a few times in the last few months since we first met, it has always been clear to me that we don't meet enough. He's got the sex drive of a 19 year old and with both of our erratic work schedules it makes it tough for us to joing up whenever he gets the urge. Additionally, I don't usually give out my phone number due to past experiences that almost caused me to change my number so he can't just call to invite me over. What's more, James isn't one to e-mail when he's in need. Instead he just waits for me to e-mail him to see if he's free when I am. With all these limitations, it's a wonder we have met up at all.
With the weather getting warmer hormones have started acting up big time. I for one have already had a couple of marathon self-pleasuring sessions while at home (and as a result of not hearing from my well-endowed mentor) and can only assume that he's had to do the same.
This became more evident this weekend after coming across multiple postings on Craiglist made by James. Normally I would have shrugged it off since I was barely online during the weekend but what got me was that he was looking to have a few guys at his place and he already had one over there as he wrote the posts.
Trust. It's a fragile thing.
Anyway, I decided not to blow this out of proportion and instead e-mailed to see if he was looking. I did this because a) I was insanely horny and b) to see if he really did meet up with a group of guys or if it was just a way to attract someone to come over. His reponse was brief, asking when I was thinking of stopping by and stating that he had met up with someone earlier in the morning. I kept going and said I could be there right away, all he had to do was let me know. I didn't hear back.
I took care of my immediate need. Twice. Then I just decided to forget about it and not give it another thought. But then a rather sinister thought crept into the back of my mind: How long had this been going on? Now, add to this the previous unanswered questions of whether or not he really did meet up with someone else and how many did show up for his group and you can see how it might cause unease.
Another, less important feeling also reared its ugly head: Jealousy. Someone else was the beneficiary of his beautiful organ and experience. Also, from what the posts said, he was younger. I suddenly felt old and not so desireable. But I quickly dismissed that, thinking that all this wasn't worth dealing with.
That being said I decided to pretty much be done with this arrangement (or lack thereof). What was the point of going on? Well, there are those eight inches of manhood and the experience attached to it... And that brings me to an observation I've made in my dealings with gay men: The longer the penis, the more partners. Can anyone else verify this? I was with another older gentleman about a year ago who was also very well endowed (not as much as James, but he was uncut, so that made up for it) and a very talented lover. However, after meeting a few times he disclosed that one of his partners was diagnosed with an STD and that I should get myself checked out. I turned out fine, but it blew my mind that he would not only fail to mention that he wasn't exclusively playing with me, but that he had a group of a "few men I play with regularly." Is this common practice for gay men? And by common, I mean over 50% of the population. What's more, is there this underlying sense of invincibility that allows this sort of behaviour to be pervasive among this community? I'm curious.
Well, I don't have the answers yet, but I'm going to look into it. For now, however, James will just have to do without me. But I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't have much of an effect. I'd be very surprised to have him contact me asking that I reconsider. That's just the way he is. At least that's the way he's presented himself to me.
It might be hot to watch him play with another guy, though...

The Names Have Been Changed...

... to protect the (not so) innocent.
I'm sure, in reading these posts, you've wondered if the people I'm writing about are okay with the idea that I am, in essence, letting the world know about their sexual activities. Honestly, I don't know. Well, I know some would not be okay with it, but I think there are some that would be fine maybe even turned on by it. However, some of the people I have written about I no longer stay in contact with and so I can't ask them for permission. Moreover, I don't know what the future holds, so I do not know if this blog would implicate someone down the road (including me) so I cannot make a general assumption either way.
I had thought about just changing everyone's name when I would reference them but it turns out that some people are okay with it. So, for the sake of protecting the innocent (ahem) I won't say whose names are real and whose are aliases. You'll have to just assume... Well, assume whatever you want. Maybe that person you're reading about is the noisy neighbor you've had sneaking suspicions about. Maybe the great lover you had who said they weren't into multiple partners is, in actuality, fucking just about all of Chicagoland. Who knows. More importantly, does it matter? I don't think so. Just read, ponder and let me know what you think.

De-Virginized [toys]

First experiences. Being firsts adds to the intensity and, for better or worse, they're never duplicated. I'll occasionally write about these firsts and when I do, I'll put them under the De-Virginized header.

A few days ago I had one of these de-virginizing experiences by way of James, who continues to share what seems to be an expanse of sexual knowledge. While in the middle of an intense session, he asked if I wanted to try a dildo. Breathless, I replied that he should consider my ass his and he could do whatever he wanted to with and to it. He laughed and reached into one of the drawers of a nightstand that stood next to his bed and produced a rather impressive double ended dildo. It was about 14" from end to end and I immediately thought there was no way it was going to all fit in. Then I realized, being double-ended, it wasn't meant to.
James spread lube over the tip and about a third of the shaft then placed it between my legs. He had been inside me for about a good twenty minutes before this, so I didn't think there would be any pain as he slid it in. While his penis is thick, it wasn't as thick as the synthetic counterpart and it did cause me to moan loudly once it penetrated me.
One thing I need to clarify is that what I feel whenever he slides in is certainly not pain. My reactions are more of a mixture of various things going through my mind at the same time. First and foremost is the knowledge that so much of him is going in. He's blessed, if you know what I mean.
Second, the act of being penetrated is arousing to me because it's still a taboo to me. Being raised by ultra-traditional Catholic parents, homosexuality is still something that I consider forbidden. Not because I believe it is, far from it, but a vestige of my upbringing rears it's head whenever I engage in any activities that one might consider "forbidden". This is a running theme in my adventures and one you'll see in further posts.
Third, except for James, all the men that I've bottomed for hurt while they first went in. It too me a long time to actually fully bottom for a guy since they'd barely be in and I'd have to ask them to pull out due to overwhelming pain. Mind you most of them weren't packing much, I just wasn't ready. Even after getting used to being a bottom I still had to take things slow at the beginning while I got used to a partner's member. James has been the exception. However, in the back of my mind there is this fear that it will hurt at some point and this adds to the overall experience.
Lastly, knowing that someone else is deriving pleasure from me is very much a turn-on, especially in a situation where I'm in more of a submissive role. I don't mean this in an S/M sort of way, rather it's understodd that one person is directing things while the other is taking this direction. This is yet another recurring theme with me (one that might have been obvious with my encounters with Katt) and one that I think that has it's origins in my first sexual experiences. Combine this with the fact that James is a very savvy playmate and there is an added feeling of being "taken care of".
When you put all of these things together, it's no wonder that I react the way I do. I am not typically an overtly vocal person, but during my sessions with James and his generous endowment I've practially yelled at the top of my lungs when things get to a very intense point.
This introduction to a dildo was such an experience. Once it was sliding in I felt delirious with pleasure. He slowly fed it into me until I felt it touch something inside. He then slid it in and out, while pleasuring himself. I reached over and took care of him while he continued his lesson.
I was then struck with curiousity and asked him how much was inside. He slid it out and showed me. I had had almost two-thirds of it inside.
"How about that?" He asked. "Didn't think you could take that much, huh?"
"No." I gasped. "But it still doesn't feel as good as yours."
He laughed and then grab one of my legs, spread me a bit then slid his own penis inside. We continued like this for a while, I could tell he was close to finishing as his small grunts became deep moans.
He pulled out and then used the dildo again. This time I took it from him and used it on myself. The feeling was amazing. He laid down and stroked himself commenting on how erotic it was to watch me play with myself in such a way. He then came. I finished myself off, expecting a somewhat intense orgasm. Instead, my orgasm was so intense I passed out.
This had happened before, but it had been a while. James thought I had fallen straigh to sleep after cumming, but I explained what had really happpened.
We stayed in bed for a while. He talked about some guacamole a coworker had brought into work that day while I recooperated. We lazily stroked each other then got up to shower.
I got dressed and headed out. I told him I felt great and thanked him for yet another learning experience and he said he was glad he could help.
"Any time you need another lesson, let me know."
I nodded yes. We hugged and I left.
This wasn't the first time I had a toy in me, but definitely one that turned me on as much as this. The other experience paled in comparison. I'm now considering buying my own dildo, but like I have told James about his cock: While how big it is contributes a great deal to how pleasureable our sessions are, it's how he uses it that makes those experiences memorable.

The Sambia Tribe

A few years back while looking for information on homosexual practices during ancient times, specifically, the Greeks and Romans I came across an article on the Sambia Tribe of New Guinea. What stood out was their practice of having younger boys ingest semen from older "bachelors" as a rite of initiation into manhood.
For now I won't go into any details regarding what I think of this simply because I'm still not sure what to make of it after all this time. I'll let you make up your own mind.

Hentai

I don't own much pornography, at least not the non-digital kind. I have a stash of Playboys from late 1990 through early 1993 and an occasional Penthouse from the last few years (if anyone is interested in these, let me know I might be willing to part with them). I also have a copy of Andrew Blake's House of Dreams (starring my favorite porn actress, Zara White[s]) on VHS and some rather poorly made bi flick. While pornography and erotica are of great interest, I've never put them up high on the list of things I want to spend money on. Music and Japanese toys are at the top of the list. Lately one form of pornography that has been peaking my interest is Hentai.
I was first introduced to Japanese erotica during one of my art history classes while at college. I was intrigued by the idea that the (perceived) reserved Japanese could be capable of such powerfully erotic images. At the same time I found it funny that a lot of these images depicted the genitalia, mostly of the men in these drawings, as much bigger in proportion to the person attached to it. Overall, it left a lasting impression, especially the surreal quality of the content shown in these old works of art.
Since elementary school I have had an interest in manga and anime and even now still collect items associated with both. With the internet making it easier to access these items I became exposed to the contemporary version of Japan's pornography, specifically the illustrated and animated kind. Since Japan has strict rules on what can be showin in photography and film, it seems that the more explicit sexual interests of the Japanese make their way into other media. What's more, since illustration and animation are only limited by the imagination of those producing it, they sometimes carry on the surreal qualities of the original Ukiyo-e woodblock prints. My first experience with what would now be considered hentai was Chôjin densetsu Urotsukidôji (Legend of The Overfiend) which included such highlights as a woman being split in two by her lover's penis and Mt. Fuji being destroyed by a mammoth cock. While this movie heralded the beginning of the Erotic Grotesque genre of anime, there are common themes to other hentai anime and manga. Most important of these are how gender roles are defined with men sometimes depicted as supernatural (read: Incredible lovers) and women their helpless conquests. While there are exceptions to these (the recent Bible Black series had a very attractive and domineering hermaphrodite as one of the principal characters) it seems that most hentai is geared toward men.
Now porn that's geared toward men is obviously not something that is exclusive to the Japanese, but considering social norms it does speak to perceived roles when it comes to sex. The other interesting facet is that it also reflects the general acceptance of animation and comic books as established media rather than just something that is "for kids."
Artist Takashi Murakami has taken some of the aesthetics of anime and hentai and created works that spur examination of both these media. Two of my favorite pieces show anime-style people engaging in common day activities that become highly erotic and yet ridiculous.
Another artist that has contributed to this type of work is Suehiro Maruo whose ultra disturbing images merge both the erotic with horror in a way that one might consider brilliant or utterly deranged.